ROADLOG: SOLO OCULO + THE 'RAM FAM

ROADLOG: SOLO OCULO | THE ‘RAM FAM 
This last east coast run  
with Pentagram 
And The Dirty Streets 
Was a good run.  
Short, but intense.  
But also super introspective.  
I did the tour solo  
In the truest sense of the word.  
All of my immediate circle  
Of family, friends, 
And band mates, 
Who usually accompany me 
And help out & manage things, 
Were busy working, 
Thus they couldn’t join me 
On the trek.  
So I went rolled by myself.  
Going it alone out there 
On the long haul 10 hr drives, 
It gives one time  
To meditatively reflect upon  
One’s life and journey  
And assess the many things  
About yourself  
That you may or may not 
Always like: 
Quirks, emotional needs,  
Lifelong insecurities, 
Resentments, shortcomings, 
Selfish & addictive Inclinations.  
Also,  
The huge number  
Of sacrifices necessary 
In order to continue  
Doing this little  
Suspended adolescent  
Rock & roll 
Creative career/lifestyle.  
Etc.  
So many things.  
So much time & energy required.  
So much self-work to do.   
To improve on,  
Tweak, 
And course correct.  
All these things  
Come flooding in 
With the miles and miles  
Of the oncoming road.  
Alone.  
HWY.  
Bridges.  
Anonymous exits.  
Small Towns.  
Strangers, 
Mutedly incased  
In their cars, 
Floating by.  
Pondering their own lives.  
Or maybe not.  
It was a tough little run,  
Driving, loading 
In/out, playing.  
Climbing into a hotel bed 
By one’s self.  
Staring at the walls.  
Drone of the TV.  
The road alone  
Is quiet 
And deafening.  
And sometimes lonely.  
In so many ways, 
We are all alone, 
Out there / In here, 
Sitting atop  
A pile of years. 
Wondering.  
Where does it go?  
What does it mean? L 
Sigh.  
The three things  
I learned on this tour: 
1. Never move to New Jersey.  
2. Never drive in New Jersey.  
3. I really miss & truly appreciate  
All of my family, close friends, 
Band mates, acquaintances, 
And  
Hometown people. 
I really do.  
And I apologize to everyone  
If I don’t  
Say that enough. 
I get distracted, 
Plowing forward  
And sometimes  
Miss the little things 
That are often more fulfilling  
And sustainable  
Than all the kookiness  
Of the Rock & Roll Trail of Tears.  
So thank you  
So much  
To all my family  
And supportive friends 
And people out there 
For taking the journey  
With me 
And putting up  
With my “stuff.” 
And much thanks 
And gratitude  
To the whole ‘Ram Fam: 
Pentagram.  
Bobby, Pellet, Greg, 
Matt, Pistol Peterine, 
Zac, Joe, Jack, Mike.  
You guys really watched  
My back  
And took care of me 
On this run.  
On all the runs.  
It’s so strange how  
Bands that play 
Such Heavy & dark music 
Almost always  
Are the sweetest people. 
Many of them, 
Wounded and worn torn, 
But so kind and giving  
In ways  
You wouldn’t expect  
If looking in from  
The outside 
And not privy 
To a detailed briefing  
Of the fragile ins/outs 
Of the inner lives  
Of these complicated, 
And conflicted 
But gentle beasts.